Thursday, September 10, 2009

My obese butt

I have one, I can say it's obese because it's what my BMI is reporting right now. I know that BMI is not the end-all to body fat and whatnot but that's the easiest way for me to go. You know the coolest thing? In just one or two pounds, it will no longer be my obese but anymore. It will be my overweight butt. I love it 104

So I have to kick this butt into gear.

Luckily I have a team of wonderful people to keep me going right now. But sometimes I just lose all motivation. Like late last week when I was running. My MP3 player died halfway through my 3.5 mile run and I just wanted to quit. Like, turn around and go back (even though I was halfway finished) quit. I don't know why that happens to me. My brain just starts to talk my body out of the things I KNOW it can do. I had run the 3.5 miles before. The same route. I knew I could do it, but I almost let me talk myself out of it. Other times I have all the motivation, all the energy, all the drive and then I push myself way too hard. Then I have to take a couple of days off just to recuperate from the pounding I've given myself!

I need a happy medium. I want the strength mentally to carry on with this journey to a smaller, healthier me. When I hit a plateau I don't think I'm going to gain, but I could see myself maintaining for quite some time. I want that goal weight. I want to be healthy and I want to be happier because I'm healthy. Sometimes I just see the long bendy road ahead and think there's too much to travel by myself. There's too far to go and those hills, oh those hills might just kill me. My body tells me that it can do more. Every time I work out it can do more, work harder, go faster, be stronger. But my brain is a little lacking in the strength department. Hopefully, in some cases, my body will be stronger than my brain.

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