Thursday, February 24, 2011

Life gets in the way

Today I am struggling. I am sick. Well, I am on the verge of being sick. Swollen glands have persisted through the week. Not enough to bother me other than to think “oh, my throat’s a little sore” at times. Today it hit at about 10 a.m. Sore throat, headache, nausea and an overwhelming urge to bite everyone’s head off. I’m trying to just get through this. If for some reason I am unable to go to work tomorrow I want whoever has to take over all my crap to have the easiest time possible. I have all my extra work done. And I’ve accomplished the head-biting, but to the wrong person.

So I’ve been struggling. Did I mention that? I’ve been on task for weeks, working out almost daily, staying in my calorie range, even on my “cheat” day yesterday when it was my day off from exercise without any guilty whatsoever and where I got to eat fried chicken. I was still within my calories. Because I’m that good. I’m not really struggling with eating, although I guess that’s a struggle because I’m not hungry at all. I think it has to do with the nausea thing.

But at work, I’m surly, I’m grumpy and I’m trying not to show it because no one here needs to think I’m sick. I don’t want that. So, the first person who calls? The SO. Asks me a simple question and I bite his head off. Partially because I don’t want to tell him I don’t feel well in front of my co-workers and partially because I don’t feel well. Imagine that. Maybe I should just put my foot in my mouth, considering I’m not hungry or anything.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

2011 5K #2


It's my new 5k time! I cut two minutes and six seconds off my time in LESS THAN A MONTH! WOOT! I know for some it's still crazy slow, and it's definitely a lot slower than I want to be. I'm headed in the right direction, though. Building up speed slowly.

Yesterday I went on a run outside. It's in the 40's! That's perfect running weather, right? Oh my goodness was I cold. I need to get some running mittens. Right now it would be perfect to have the thin ones. Just something to break the brain-numbing wind. Honestly I think if they sun was shining it would have been perfect, but by the time I headed out it was overcast. Blech. But I did it.

It felt so slow, like I was running at a snail's pace, but I just kept it up, one foot in front of the other, one hill at a time. I had to walk a bit more than I normally do on the treadmill, even though I've been training with it at an incline I think the road just puts more pressure on my body.

My normal pace right now is 15-minute miles on the treadmill. I got home, clocked in my time on the 2.3 miles I pumped out and BAM! 13-minute miles! So, if I run my next 5k in March (hopefully a regulated race, I won't have the snow excuse anymore) and keep it to that pace I'll shave SIX more minutes off my 5k time. IN THREE MONTHS! Can you tell I'm slightly excited?

I will say those 2.3 miles wore me out a little more than the 4+ on my treadmill! I know my pace was faster, but I think the cold just wore me down, too. And hills. Oy hills. Let's just say I better have killer calves after this!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Peanut butter binge

Last night I ate peanut butter cookies. And pizza. No joke. I went to add up my calories today, and guess what, for my crazy binge, I still only ate just over 1,800 calories. I can't call that a loss. I need to call that a victory.

It's a victory because I made the peanut butter cookies, and they were not big in any way shape or form. They were about two inches across. And did I mention they were delicious? Anyway, aside from that, there was pizza. I ate three slices. Of thin-crust pepperoni pizza. That's like one slice of a large Pizza Hut pizza.

The "binge" I went on last night won't even show me a gain on the scale today. Maintain, all the way. Did I go over my calories? yes. Did I eat way more fat than I aim to? yes. Did I eat 5,000 calories by eating an entire pan of huge monster cookies like I have in the past. He** no. (Btw, I really don't know if that was 5,000 calories, but it was definitely a couple thousand.)

So it's a victory. I went off plan, but because I had been watching what I ate the rest of the day the off plan didn't even break 2,000 calories for a whole day. I had pizza and cookies, and I didn't get the nutrients that I want in a day, but I'll live with that every once and a while.

My plan is not being perfect. I am not perfect therefore this weightloss plan is not perfect, but it works for me. I mess up sometimes. So what. It's life and one day out of thirty where I eat more than I want to isn't going to kill me. What it will do is make me stronger.

I cannot survive on a diet where I eat carrot sticks and nothing else. I'm not built that way. The way I'm built if you tell me I can't have a slice of cheesecake I'm going to whine and cry until I get a piece of cheesecake. Now, tell me now I can have cheesecake. I'll have a piece, I'll love every morsel of it, and I will keep my calories and exercise in check so that the cheesecake is counted. In my diet I can have whatever I want, I just know that when I have a food "treat" that somewhere in my diet something else is missing. I don't do it often, but I'm not deprived.

For the most part I eat healthy, unprocessed food. I'll have cookie and pizza when I want it, and then I won't eat two large pizzas by myself later on in the week. Victory.