Thursday, September 9, 2010

I run

Do you remember the Dick and Jane books? I love those books.

See Spot run.
Spot runs fast.
Run Spot, run!

Okay, I don't really know if that is actually in a Dick and Jane book, having read one probably when I was four. But when I think about those books, I think about Spot. And then, to tell you how I feel about me and running. Insert "Jessica" for Spot. I don't necessarily run fast, but oh I like to run.

There's a freedom when I get my feet moving that I can't quite describe. I know I'm doing something healthy. I know I'm making my life better AND I get to be outdoors, enjoying the weather, as gray or as sunny as it may be. Slowly but surely I'm walking and running my way to a better me.

One more thing running does, other than give me amazing healthy benefits, is allow me to shuffle through the thoughts, good bad, ugly, frivolous, that speed through my head. Most times all that humming in the background of my brain is just that, humming. I don't pay attention to it unless it causes a tune to come to mind, and it leaves me be. Sometimes I have to focus, to pull out thought that maybe need a little attention. I get time to decide if I really am enjoying the new bread I made. If there is something that needs some thought, or planning. Sometimes I just get to listen to my tunes and focus on the breath coming in and out of my body.

Running frees me in a way I had never known. When I sing a song and I can hear the notes carrying away into the sky and hear a melody being made from my throat outward, that's what running does. I have raced a couple of times. Racing is great and when I finished my first 5k I had a sense of accomplishment like no other. Unlike singing, which has comes naturally to me and then I used to fine tune in choirs and lessons et al, running is something I work at, something I strive for something that never has come naturally.

I may never run the half marathon I dream of, but I'll for sure partially walk one! I may never flow with effortless grace down the last 1/2 mile stretch on my running route, but I'll run it, and sprint the blocks at the end just to show myself that I can (and I hear it's good practice for those races). I run for me. I run because I never thought I would, and now I can't believe I do. I can try to compare myself to people who run faster or longer or farther, but in the end I can't because they're not me. I run to give my dreams that kick in the butt they need to keep on fighting. I run.

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