Attempt at life

This vacation was much needed. Not that I'm worn to the bone at work, they work me hard, but I enjoy what I do. But everyone needs a break from the routine. Work, wonderful as it may be, can wear on a person. So I started my vacation with what, more work! I canned, I baked, I made freezer dinners and oh my, I was tired. More on all the domestic activity at a later date!

This past week I got to enjoy some downtime with my family in Okoboji. Oh my was it lovely. We ate, played games, boated, and I even attempted to water ski. How blessed am I that I got to see so many friendly faces and laugh so hard.

So this was my attempt at water skiing ...

Oh goodness I failed. I definitely failed! I was "up" for about two seconds at least three times and after that, oooo, lake water. Lake water sure fills a girl up! At the end I was getting slightly frustrating because I felt so close to being able to do it! I'm not a huge fan of failure, I doubt anyone really is, and I so wanted to feel the water skimming under my skis while I held on for dear life. Alas, it was not to be.

As I came out of the water into the boat after my sixth or seventh attempt I was expressing my frustration. My mom took a moment and said to me, "You know Jess, last year you wouldn't have even tried this, and now you're out there!" (Okay, it's not verbatim, but it's definitely what she was saying!) Her point was to look at how my life has changed in a little over one year.

The day I decided to stop using food as a crutch this was in store for me. The day I put my health first in my life, this was waiting. The day I stepping out onto the road in a old pair of sneakers to try running for the first time, this, and SO much more was out there. My journey concentrates on the scale and how much clothes fit and all that other stuff that you think about while actively trying to lose weight, but that isn't the point.

I'm doing this to make my life better and to live with more joy. I wanted my life back. I didn't want to tell myself 'no, you can't do that activity, you're too fat and you'll get laughed at' when I really wanted to say 'yes,' even if I failed. I didn't want to sit on the sidelines anymore when life was calling to me again and again to get in the game. I wasn't going to sit there any longer and see others memories played out. I was going to make my own attempt at life. Pass, fail or somewhere in between, now I'm out there. And I am so full of joy.