Tuesday, May 4, 2010

How life changes

Every now and then I like to look back on where my life has been and where it might be going. So much has happened in the last year when I think about my health. I realized what a destructive path I was on with my eating and exercise habits. I want to be healthy and on this planet for many years to come. I know I can be overweight and still live for many years, but I want as much life in those years as I can get.

I want to be able to think about running down the block and do it. If an idea comes up to go hiking I want to be able to. I want to have less pain, fewer aches and I want to feel better about myself. As time goes on and I continue with this goals I expect them to become a part of who I am.

In eleven months what I wished for has happened. I'm not at my goal weight yet, I may not be for some time, but I'm healthier and happier because I changed my life. A typical week now consists of running 9-10 miles, playing softball or volleyball at least once a week and additional exercise thrown in here and there. I have more energy, I think I need more sleep, but overall, I'm less crabby, less sad and more me.

Sometimes I wish I didn't struggle with my weight. That I didn't overeat unless I watch myself and that I was just naturally thin and athletic. Right now, when I think of where I have come from in less than a year I think of how lucky I am. I know myself and understand the amazing things I can do more than I ever did a year ago. I can run. I can spring even. I can swing a bat and hit a volleyball and I'm putting myself out there to succeed or to fail.

I have more confidence and I know that even if I do fail I have the ability to pick myself up and continue without a breakdown, without losing my sense of worth and my feelings of accomplishment. I don't wish to be fat again, I do not wish to hurt or to feel pain because of some extra insulation around my midsection, but I am glad that through my weight loss and through my journey to health I have learned that I love me, no matter what size I am.

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