-20 and counting

Can you believe it? 20 lbs. gone. That's 1/10 of my weight, In just over 3 months. Okay, I've got to say - even though it is me - that's pretty kick @ss. I realized it today when I did my weigh-in for my Biggest Loser Challenge. I have changed my life in three months. Honestly, I changed my life the day I found this site.

This is me with a new (smaller) shirt and my pants that fit better than the day I bought them.



I can see how happy I look in that picture. I'm so proud of myself because it hasn't always been easy. I'm eating better, I'm exercising, I'm paying attention to my body and what goes in it. I feel like my life will be better in the long run because it's already better now. I have more energy. I can even jog for 50 minute without stopping! I love how I feel when I'm done working out and I love how I just feel better about me.

I may not look a ton different, people are just starting to notice a little bit. Then again, the people who might notice are people who see me every day! The important thing is that I FEEL different. I feel sexier. I feel prettier. When I walk down the street I hold my head up high with my shoulders back. When I jog, sure, people might be watching, but I'm out there and I'm doing it.

The last couple of weeks have been a little hard on me I just felt blah, but I'm back baby! My teammates for BLC posted such nice things on my wall - thanks to all of you for helping me get over my hump - and the people in my life are so supportive. Then today, realizing that 20 lbs. of me is gone for good, it just made me realize how lucky I am. I keep finding out new things about myself. I'm stronger and faster and tougher than I ever though I was. Some times may be hard, some times may make me want to just sit on my butt and eat the brownies cooling in my kitchen (They're going to work, don't worry) but I see how far I've come and I can't quit now!

I'm only a third of the way to my goal and I have so much more growing mentally and losing physically ahead of me. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my journey this far. Thank you for your support, for you motivation. Every time you say good job it just encourages me more to keep going. It inspires me to try to inspire someone else. Every time you leave a message it makes me smile and I realize how many kind and good people are out there who have never even met me and yet want to help me down the road to my ultimate reduction. Thank you.

May we all be coffee

I read this on a Web site and thought the story should be posted again:

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.... It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans... She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.... Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way...

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Struggling to move

Things I'm finding difficult:
Getting off my butt and working out.
- there are no excuses. I get on here and see the wonderful things people are doing or I see people on TV and think, I can look more like that and I have to get off my butt and do it. I could use some more enthusiasm though. Btw, my 6-mile run/walk yesterday Kicked. My. Butt.

Eating Healthy foods
- Part of this is because it's that TOM. Always an issue when it comes to my eating will power. Part of it is because, like I said, I just have no motivation right now! I got on the scale and weighed yesterday just to check it out, 'cuz I'm lame like that (I know my weigh-in isn't until later!) and it still didn't make me happy. Was I glad I lost weight, oh yes, of course! Was I as ecstatic as I once would have been? No. Maybe because it's become more normal for me to be reducing in circumference. Now that I definitely should be glad of!

I'm going through the motions, I'm doing what needs to be done, but there's not a lot of excitement for me right now. I know it's good that I'm still doing, that's part of life now, but I wish I would just smile more about it.

Part of this is the changing of the seasons. I love fall, it's my favorite season of the year, but the less light we have during the day, the more slanted that light becomes the less happy I am sometimes. I get done with a run or my 30 Day Shred and I feel great. There's a perma-smile on my face. I know that I can't give that up because it helps me so much. I love how I feel when I'm finished working out for the day, so that helps keep me going.

I remember the first week on Sparkpeople. I was so into it, so full of energy and just excited to be changing my life. Like anything new, the wonderfulness wore off a little. I'm still so glad to be doing this and to see my body changing and the pounds melting away (well, sweating away) but my initial spark has been dampered a little. Thank you all you wonderful people on Spark because part of what keeps me going is you! Your motivation, your virtual smiles :D and all the wonderful things that I see all of you doing!

And she's off; 6 miles, right around the bend

At least, that's my goal tomorrow! Six miles, not necessarily running the whole thing, but I hope to have the whole thing run in the next couple of months.

So, story. If you've read some of my blogs you know I want to run a 1/2 marathon next year in Des Moines, IA. I'm in love with running. So, I'm moving toward that goal! I mapped out a new route today and it's six miles. Three miles out, three miles back plus a little warm-up and cool down. I'm excited because it's out and back so if for some reason I really need to turn around at some point I can. I didn't really have that luxury with my other route.

My other route is four miles. I can do the whole thing now and I'm looking for a little more challenge. The GREAT thing is, I can still use it for hill exercises, it's HUGE on hills. My new route is a little flatter, which for right now will probably be better on my knees. Also, it's a bike path so the curve of the road won't mess with my knees so badly either!

Can you tell I'm a little excited? More excitement? It will be so easy to add to when I get past six miles. More excitement? When I run the whole six miles it will be HALF of my HALF marathon!

Another plus, the SO knows this route too now so if it starts raining or he gets worried he can just drive it and find me in a snap. Now. Can I ask for some advice? What do you guys carry on you when you go walking/running? Right now all I carry is a water bottle and my little MP3 player, which really weights like two oz.! I know people talk about ID's and phones and things, what's the low down, what do I need to know?

Thanks!

Loving fall

It's beautiful here in Iowa right now. Crisp and cool in the mornings and the evenings with some heat thrown out in the middle of the day. Goodness I love fall weather. I loved it last night when I went on my run, too. The leaves are changing and it even just smells different outside. Those 3.5 miles went by pretty quickly. Mentally I was in the zone, physically I did it faster than I have before! I'm no speed-runner, I probably never will be and honestly, turtles might be able to move faster than I run, but it felt good! I love fall. It's my favorites season.

I love the freshness that fall seems to bring with it. There's a cleanliness about it that just speaks to me. You can look anywhere and everything seems to be coming to fruition. The crops are ready for harvest, the trees are exploding in their last final burst of color before the white of winter sets in. Everything is getting prepared, getting ready. I know birds are starting to disappear for warmer climates. Animals are getting fat or hoarding for when they know they need it. I just love the feeling in the air. It's sassy.

Many people feel like spring is the time for rebirth and rebuilding. I think it is too, but I also think that without fall and winter there is nothing to rebuild. Fall is what the whole season looks forward to. Winter cleans everything up so that in spring, when it's time to find those new little buds on the bare trees everything is just ready to go.

This fall and winter I'm preparing. Next summer and spring I'll still be preparing. I'll be preparing for all of the changes that I'm making and I know that I'll be preparing for the rest of my life, but every fall I can be reminded of how far I've come, how far I've bloomed. Fall is made to be remembered.

I'm going to make it

I used to love watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Mary was pretty, energetic, so sweet and nice, but she wanted to do well in life. Her boss, the big gruff Lou Grant, Ted, the idiotic news man, I loved it all. Most of what I loved was how Mary faced life. She had ups and downs, she got bruises from some of her falls, but she smiled, and oh how beautiful that smile was.

LOVE IS ALL AROUND
Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

That song has such inspiration and such hope. I love it when it says "But it's time you started living / It's time you let someone else do some giving" because that's where I am. I love the people around me and sometimes I just give of myself until there's no more left of me for me. I lose all my energy, lose all of my drive for myself because I've given too much away. I need to live. I can still help, I can still love and I will definitely keep smiling, but I just need to keep a little for me.

I'm going to make it. After all life has thrown at me, after all the obstacles and miracles and sad and beautiful things that have happened I'm going to make it. I can do whatever I set my mind on. I can change my life, change my patterns and make tomorrow so much better than this beautiful day already is. I'm going to make it, and so are you.

Running Fiend

I accomplished a personal goal the other day. I ran for 50 minutes straight. Right now I'm not quite sure how far I went, only that I got done with my regular route and I just kept going. It felt amazing.

About halfway through my regular run, coming up the BIG Hill I eat for breakfast (Thank you MINKEOR!), the hill that makes me cringe each time I come near it, I got a second wind, that lovely beautiful second wind that every talks about and that I've never experienced before. My calves didn't ache anymore. My breathing was even (well, for jogging!) and I knew I could just keep going. So I hit the straightaway. Normally when that's finished my run is finished, but I kept going. It was amazing, I just kept going. At one point, near the end, I knew I was going to be sore the next day, but I was almost done so I just pushed myself a little more and made it though.

As I walked my cool down I just thought about what I accomplished. I've said it before and I'll say it hundreds more times. Our bodies are amazing things. Just when I thought the run would be the hardest of my week it turned out to be the best. I got home and I just couldn't stop smiling. I looked at the clock, realized how long I had been out running and just smiled even bigger. What a sense of accomplishment. The dread that I felt before the run because my calves were still aching from the previous day was almost forgotten with the euphoria I felt.

When I thought I was going to disappoint myself and almost didn't go because of it I ended up having the best run I've ever had. I almost missed out on that. I pushed myself through because I promised it to myself and because I didn't want to let my Saucy Sapphire teammates down and it turned out so well. What I would have missed if I would have let my thoughts get to me. What an amazing thing I would have missed.