Today I feel wiped out. I'm tired, though not cranky, thank goodness and I just don't know what to do with my time. Not at work, I'm almost always busy with work, but the rest of my time. I run, which I enjoy. I spend time with the SO, which I definitely enjoy, but at the same time there is not a lot of meaning in the rest of the hours that fill my day.
I feel like I am on the brink of an exciting discovery, that what awaits me tomorrow or the next day is amazing and anything is within my grasp. This feeling both scares and excites me. What if I am capable of anything? What if anything I choose for my life can happen? Whenever I feel this way (some psychologists label it 'manic' I believe) I think of one of my favorite quotes:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~ Maryanne Williamson
We are capable of amazing things. Our accomplishments probably would surprise us if we really put our minds to something, but, like many people out there, I continuously sell myself short. I can't run a half-marathon. Well I can and I will. I can't take on more at my job. Well, guess what, I can and I will. The work, the achievement, knowing I can do more than I ever set out to do pushes me, drives me forward. I can't lose ten more pounds. I can. And I will. Life is about choices for me. If I choose to do something then more often than not there is a way. There are excuses, there will be stumbling blocks and the going may be slower than I ever intended, but I can do it. And so can you.