Saturday, March 20, 2010

Life can be so very sad

Someone I do not know has died and my heart is heavy. That sounds odd, right? Someone I've never met, someone I probably would never meet died. I heard of her death through a Web site I visit Her death right now is on the forefront of my mind and I can't get it out. I fixed on the meaningless of her death. I wonder if she had to die. I wonder if I would end up like her if I don't keep on this path I've set out for myself.

Her name was Bethany and apparently she died from a heart attack. Bethany, from the last blog I read of hers written March 18,, was over 300 lbs. She had a heart condition, peripartum cardiomyopathy, and she was trying to change her life.

When I heard about her death all I could think, selfishly enough, is that I hope that will never be me. And I wonder, what could have been done in her life so she would not have died from a heart attack? So she would still be with her family, her children, her husband. Could anything have changed when she died and what she would have died from? And I felt so sad. Sad for a life that has been cut short. Sad for a woman who was trying. Sad for her family that misses her and is in pain right now.

I cannot change Bethany's life. I cannot make everything better for her or her family. As much as I wish I could, the only thing I can do from this is learn.

I can learn to make each day count. I can learn that my life matters, to me and to others, and I should make it the best that I can. Though I never knew Bethany I can learn from her and remember her. That's the least I can do. Is it less sad? No. Nothing can really make it better. But as for right now I'm just thinking of Bethany and praying for her family.

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